Duck Butt and Bird Brain
by Sierra456
Summary: I suck at summaries. A girl Sasuke loved died 10 years ago. Her body was never found. Something is fishy. Looks like its up to Detective Naruto!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Teme, we need to talk, it's really important ", Naruto looked seriously at his emo friend at Ichiraku's. Sasuke looked up from his ramen with a bored expression, "What is it? Girlfriend problems?"

Naruto stuck out his tongue, "As if I'd ask you for romantic advice, you're still single!"

Sasuke shrugged and continued to stuff his face.

"Its about you still being single"

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Though…. You could go out with Karin"

"… go to hell "

"Come on! Everyone's gotta a girlfriend, even Chouji, which is surprising, but still! " Naruto cried.

"When we were 13 years old ,you told us you wanted to repopulate the Uchiha clan. Sasuke, that means BABIES, which come from doing se-"

"I KNOW HOW BABIES ARE BORN!"

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a disgusted expression, "I'm trying to eat here, I can't eat with you blabbing your head off about IT"

"Awwww, you still call sex "IT" , try saying it", Naruto teased, " SEEEEXXXX"

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke whacked Naruto's head with his mouth full of ramen.

Naruto grinned, until he noticed something dangling from Sasuke's neck. His jaw dropped when he realized what it was.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

" WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING A NECKLACE?!"

"…. shit"

Sasuke's face turned red and refused to look at Naruto's face. " Wow, look at the time! I gotta go and ...uh- water my begonias"

Naruto looked confused at Sasuke's retreating figure.

"Water his begonias?. …"Naruto thought for a while till he came to a shocking conclusion

"HOLY SHIT, SASUKE's TURNING INTO A GIRL!"


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the wait. Hope you like it, pls review! PS: This chapter is kinda ... emotional

DISCLAIMER: I dont own Naruto, if i did, it wouldnt be as awesome and itachi would be alive. :)

Chapter 2

Sasuke gasped to catch his breath after he ran away from that looked up at the sky. It had been 5 months since the war was over, and he was at Konoha, not an international S-Rank criminal, or wanting to get revenge, or being constantly molested by Karin He could hardly believe his luck.

Too bad, the whole Karin problem was around.

He removed the chain from around his neck and gently pried the locket open, revealing an old, small picture of a smiling young girl with brown hair and grey eyes with her arm around a blushing six year old Sasuke. He felt a familiar pang in his heart.

Akira...

"She's cute. Who's that, Teme?" a voice behind him asked.

Sasuke whipped around with wide eyes and came face to face with a certain blond dobe. Sasuke tried to hide the locket behind him, "What the heck Naruto! Are you stalking me or something?!"

Naruto made a face, blushing, "SHUT UP! HELL NO, I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN STALK YOU!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "That nose of yours isn't going to pick itself, leave me alone. "

He tried to walk away when Naruto grabbed his hand, "I'll give my nose the attention it deserves only after you tell me who that girl is"

Sasuke sighed, and opened the locket to show Naruto. Stubborn asshole.

Naruto looked at the picture, than at Sasuke and asked with a mischievous expression, "You like her, don't you?"

Sasuke blushed and looked away.

Naruto grinned, "Then just ask her out!"

Sasuke looked pained, "I can't"

Naruto elbowed Sasuke, "Why not? Looks like someone's shy"

Sasuke looked at Naruto with a tortured expression, "Naruto...she's dead. She died in the Uchiha clan massacre" His voice cracked at the last part.

Naruto flinched. He felt like an idiot. Sasuke stared at the ground; his hand clutched the locket tightly.

Naruto wasn't sure what to say, what the heck do you say to something like that? Don't worry, you always have Karin? Too bad, wanna get some ramen?

"What was she like?" he finally asked. Sasuke looked at Naruto in surprise. He felt a smile tug on his lips when he thought about her: the way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she called him 'duckbutt' and Itachi 'ponytail'.

Naruto waved his hand in front of Sasuke who had a sad, lovesick grin on his face.

Naruto sighed, and people thought _he_ had it bad for Sakura. He looked at Sasuke intently and asked a question that had been bothering him for quite some time, "Sasuke, do you really grow begonias?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Remind me again. Why the heck are we visiting an old hag?" Naruto grumbled.

Sakura whacked her boyfriend's head," Idiot! I just told you, she was one of Konoha's strongest kunoichi 50 years ago, we're just gonna visit to show our respect"

"Riiiiiiight," Naruto turned to Kakashi," Why are we here again"

Sakura facepalmed, " I'm stuck with an idiot."

"She makes damn good chocolate chip cookies" Kakashi grinned.

"I'm stuck with 2 idiots" Sakura groaned.

They stopped in front of a small cottage on the edge of Konoha. The house looked a bit old, but seemed comfy, like a house where a typical grandmother lived in; complete with a garden and all the works.

Kakashi reached out to knock on the door when the door suddenly swung open revealing an old lady wearing a jumpsuit with a rope on a shoulder,"Im gonna climb Mt. Hokage, I'll be back for lunch", she yelled to someone inside before she came face to face with a surprised looking Kakashi,Sakura, and Naruto.

"KAKASHI!", the old woman's face broke into a crazy grin before she hugged him. HARD.

"Heard' ya became hokage! Yer makin an old woman proud" She slapped his shoulder, beaming. Kakashi clutched his shoulder and smiled painfully, 'Hello Tsubaki"

Tsubaki looked at Naruto and Sakura, " You even have kids! You never told me!"

Naruto and Sakura's jaw dropped. Kakashi sweatdropped,"They're not my kids..."

Sakura had to hold back Naruto so that he wouldnt shove a rasengan into Tsubaki's held the door open and pushed them inside. The house was full of weapons; kunais, shurikens, swords, bows and arrows, explosion tags. The walls were plastered with mantels and medals, along with a giant family photo.

Naruto,Sakura, and Kakashi sat uncomfortably on a sofa that seemed to be covered with a tiger's hide, while Tsubaki went inside to get some cookies. " This is one tough old lady" Sakura gulped looking around. Kakashi took out one of his porn novels and began reading. Naruto looked at the family photo. There was Tsubaki wearing that jumpsuit of hers with her weird hairdo that looked like a bee hive with one arm around a gloomy looking boy with white hair and green eyes who looked around 8 years old and her other arm around...

Naruto let out a gasp; he couldn't tear his eyes away from the picture. He turned pale and started shaking. How was this possible! She was supposed to have died!

" Thats- thats- that girl" His eyes widened.

" Naruto? " Sakura asked worried. Tsubaki entered with a plate of cookies with gloomy boy behind her who looked at Naruto curiously.

" Akira" He finally choked out remembering the girl Sasuke told him about.

Tsubaki dropped the plate, sending cookies flying everywhere. Naruto glared at Tsubaki demanding an answer.

Tsubaki bit her lip,"Thats not Akira, Thats my niece...Reina" Kakashi looked at Tsubaki in surprise, " I've never seen her before, didn't you tell me that Ren" Kakashi pointed to the little boy, " was your only relative"

" Kakashi, enough!" she snapped. Sakura frowned , she was obviously lying. Kakashi stood up , " By order of the Hokage, tell me the truth" . Tsubaki looked defeated,she was bound by heroath to the Hokage,"Damn you Kakashi." She sat down holding her head in her hands. She looked up defeated, while Ren stood behind confused.

" I suppose I should have known I couldn't hide her for long" she smiled sadly and looked at Naruto," That girl is Tsuki Akira. She was my friend's daughter."

Sakura looked surprised, " The Tsuki clan? But I thought that clan had gone extinct, the last member died 10 years ago".

Naruto glared at Tsubaki," I thought Akira was of the Uchiha clan"

Tsubaki looked at Naruto in shock. " How did you know that? Well, her father was an Uchiha. Forbidden love. I told her not to marry Uchiha Jin. The Tsuki clan was of the Land of Water, and she fell in love with an enemy! Anyway,before my friend, Mai, who was Akira's mother, and the last known member of the Tsuki Clan, had died, she asked me to protect her daughter", a tear slid down her cheek," I promised that I would. On the night of the Uchiha clan massacre, a young Uchiha,Itachi, came to me with Akira, who was unconscious.I kept my promise. I put a genjutsu on her, preventing her from remembering anything, like amnesia-"

" HOW COULD YOU!" Naruto screamed with a rasengan in his hand. He didn't care, all he thought of was Sasuke's sad face.

" I did what I had to" she said calmly. Ren tugged on Tsubaki's skirt, " What's going on? " .

Sakura stared at Tsubaki dumbstruck, while Kakashi asked calmly, " How do you remove it"

Tsubaki hissed, " Fuck this oath, it can be undone by a Sharingan, but don't you dare!"

Kakashi stood up, " Fine, I won't." He turned to Naruto and Sakura who looked at Tsubaki angrily. He sighed and dragged the out, " Thank you for having us" he called to Tsubaki.

" Even though I won't release Akira from her genjutsu. I can't guarantee someone else won't either " Kakashi thought grimly. He sighed. He didn't eat at least one cookie.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Sasuke's POV**

Stupid Naruto. If he goes around telling around about Akira... , a random picture of me being mauled by an angry, jealous pack of fan girls popped into my head. I shuddered.

It was weird that I came to the library of all places now. So many books. They were giving me a migraine. But it still felt calming. I prowled around the halls of Konoha library aimlessly, deep in my thoughts, when I suddenly collided with an idiot who wasn't watching where she was going.

I fell on the floor rubbing my fore head . Shoots of pain rushed from my forehead. I let out a steady stream of colorful words. Books were strewn everywhere, and someone opposite from me groaned. I looked at her to see which genius it was who made me feel like I just listened to Naruto singing for 1 hour. I gritted my teeth, she was _so _gonna pay.

My heart stopped.

" WHAT ARE YOU BLIND! CAN'T YOU SEE WHERE YOU'RE GOING" She screamed.

I started shaking. And couldn't stop. That temper, those eyes, that face...

It couldn't be.

" Akira? " I choked out.

Her long, wavy brown hair was tied up in a high ponytail with strands framing her face, while her beautiful gray eyes glared at m-

Shit. No time to admire a girl's beaty when she wants to kill you.

" Who are you calling Akira? My name is Reina." She raised an eyebrow at me, obviously pissed off about the books.

There was no doubt. It was definitely , Reina? What was going on?

I activated my sharingan. Was this some cruel joke forcing me to remember her by putting a genjutsu on me?!

I frowned. It wasn't a genjutsu. But the flow of chakra in her was disturbed, as if she was in a genjutsu. Wait, maybe that was it! I smirked, well, they don't call me a genius for nothing.

I took her hand in mine, letting my chakra flow to her. She looked surprised and tried to tug her hand away from mine. I held on tightly, " Just stay still "

In my mind's eye , I could see a glowing outline of her in a cage made of darkness. She pulled on it and kicked at it screaming, " Let me go! ".

I felt a war between the various emotions inside me. Pushing them down, I walked to the cage, and examined the lock. I tried pulling it.

"It won't work, It's too strong!" she sobbed.

" I won't let you go. Not again!" I pulled on it with all my strength. My arms hurt

. Damn, I couldn't use chakra here.

I was at my limit. I held on to the cage willing it to open and pulling it. I wasn't going to let this separate me from her. Too long. It had been too long!

The lock shattered. Its remnants sparkled in the air before disappearing.

"Sasuke!" The glowing outline cried rushing towards me. I held her close. The scene disappeared. We were in the library now, still holding on to each other.

I felt like laughing and crying at the same time. She was alive! She survived! I don't know how, but I don't care. I held her closer. I won't let anything separate me from her. Nothing.

" Welcome back, Bird Brain" I teased remembering the old nickname I gave her.

" Shut up, Duck Butt" , but she smiled.

"You're gonna help me pick up these books right?"


End file.
